Still Here, Still Healing: My Journey Back to Myself

For the woman who almost didn’t make it—but did.

I came across a line in one of my devotionals the other morning that stopped me in my tracks and brought tears to my eyes:

"Let the world see what healing looks like in a woman who almost didn’t make it—but did."

Whew. That hit deep.Because if I’m honest... that’s me.

I am that woman. The one who broke in private, smiled in public, and carried heaviness in her bones for months, maybe even years. The one who questioned everything: her strength, her purpose, her faith.The one who almost gave up.

Almost.

But by God’s grace… I didn’t.

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This season has been one of transition. A lot of letting go. A lot of trusting God when the map is missing, and I’m fumbling in the dark for direction. There’ve been moments where I’ve whispered through tears, “Lord, I don’t know what You’re doing, but I’m choosing to trust You anyway.”

And trust hasn’t always felt strong. Sometimes it’s looked like simply getting out of bed.

Sometimes it’s been me breathing through another wave of grief.

Sometimes it's looked like sitting in silence and saying, “I’m still here.”

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Healing hasn’t been linear.

It’s been raw. Unpretty. Quiet.

It’s looked like boundaries. Therapy. Prayer. Saying no.

It’s looked like losing people I thought I couldn’t live without and slowly realizing… I’m still living. But here's what I’ve been learning in the rebuilding: I have to be gentle with myself through “it.”

Whatever it is—grief, heartbreak, depression, disappointment, exhaustion. Healing doesn’t come with a timeline or a finish line.

And sometimes the bravest thing I can do is let myself rest without guilt.

To be soft with the parts that are still tender.

To stop rushing my restoration. (I have struggled the most with this one!)

To honor the fact that surviving was a full-time job for a while—and now, I am learning how to live again.

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So if you’re in your own rebuilding season right now—walking through the fog of "almost didn’t make it," but still here—let me pray over you:

A Prayer for the Woman Rebuilding Herself

God, for the woman reading this with tired eyes and a weary soul... remind her that her survival is not small. That her presence is proof of Your purpose still unfolding. Be her strength when she feels weak. Be her peace in the waiting. Be her clarity in the fog. Surround her with gentleness, grace, and reminders that she is never alone. May she trust You even when the next step isn’t clear. May she feel Your love wrap around her like a blanket. And may she believe, deep down, that healing is holy—and she is already becoming whole again.

Amen.